Getting stuck

Sometimes I get stuck inside of my own head. Right now I am thinking of E- and A- both. I found old pictures of C- when he was born and I feel blank. It's his mom's birthday tomorrow and she has had a rough year.

My son's mom left me because...I don't exactly know. I do know that right now isn't the time to ask her. I think she left because I was: unstable, emotionally unavailable, undependable, needy, distant...

Oh. Did I say was?

I'm thinking of E- and what went wrong. Maybe none of it was ever right. The problem I have is that I can't stop...what?

jlksdjsdgnhjasdfghjioafghjiaghioasgdfhjoisnhuogivndfauogvnaovbnasduioghvhfdiognasdjgnvodfguaing

if a chimp was put in foront of a keyboard could it really write shakespeare? who knows. i ca wirite my own name and oln ly make a load of errors.

sometiems a public blog isn't the best way to go about things, but what can you do? maybe I shoulde not. be.

maybe i should not be................................................................................................

what am i so afraid of????????????????????????????????????????????????

iiiiii sdon't knoww.

failed experiment. faileddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd